Childless Mother's Day

Mother's Day....the one Sunday a year set aside for mothers in our lives.  Whether they're our moms, grandmothers, step-mothers, or "mom figures" we set aside this day to celebrate them.  While my own mother and I don't have a close relationship I support this holiday and celebrate her and all of those amazing women in my life who have acted as mother figures filling the gap between me and my own mom.

That being said, as a 35 year old woman who hasn't been fortunate enough yet to get married or have children (and who very much wants to be married and is starting to seriously question possibly wanting children) today is a tough day for me.  (Is this that mysterious biological clock I've heard about?!?!)

In the days leading up to today, many well intentioned people have wished me a happy mother's day.  From the checker at the grocery store to the woman at the front desk at my doctor's office, people look at women of a certain age and assume that we're mothers.  And they, for all the right reasons and with nothing but the best of intentions, wish us a happy mother's day despite the fact that I, and many people like me, don't have children.  Some are childless by choice and some not as much by choice but instead by circumstance.

On the outside I smile and say thank you.  I recognize the well intent being offered and take it as such.  But on the inside, I cringe and fight back a well of emotion.  I struggle to not let my disappointment at being single, never married and childless at my age not get to me.  I force myself to remember that being single and childless has it's advantages too.  But it's a tough, emotional struggle.

I'm very lucky to have many children in my life from my niece and nephew to my best friend's three children who call me aunt to my godson and his sister.  All of these children are a blessing to my life but they're not "my children".  And that leaves me sad and feeling alone on a day like today that celebrates motherhood.

During church this morning my pastor seemed to "get it".  His sermon did focus on this being mother's day but, at the end of the service, he asked all of the women in the congregation to stand up.  At that time, he recognized all of us for whatever role we fulfill in the lives of the children around us.  We may "just" be the aunt, teacher, godmother, or friend, but we all serve some type of "mom role" at some point and in some way.