I was headed out to a lunch meeting today for some volunteer work that I do when I got the call. The call that I've been dreading for a while now. The call letting me know that someone I care about very much had taken that final turn for the worse and that I needed to make it to the hospital sooner rather than later to say my good-byes before the life support was turned off.
So I went. I was able to turn the lunch meeting into a coffee meeting. I was able to hurry back to the office to coordinate coverage for my work this afternoon. I was able to make it to the hospital with time to say goodbye to someone I've cared about for so many years. I was able to support my dear friend (the daughter of the patient in the ICU who was about to lose his long battle) whose father was, in many ways, like a second father to me.
It was a bit of a hurry up and wait. We hurried to come together...his wife, children, and two of us who have known the family for so long that we're like "bonus kids" and then we waited. We hurried to get through prayers with a leader from the church and then we waited. We waited and waited as the various steps to increase the pain medication were gone through that ultimately resulted with the turning off the life support. And then we waited some more. For you see, the man in the bed in the ICU knew he was surrounded by loved ones who so very much cared about him and he wasn't quite ready to go yet.
And then, with a final breath, with all of us surrounding him, he passed away. His daughter, my dear friend, quietly cried and leaned onto me for support. The other "bonus child" in the room leaned on my other side for support. And we all cried. We all stood at a loss for this man who we had loved so much and who had, in his own way, loved us in return.
Certainly we know that he's in a better place and out of pain. Of course we know that, at some level, he knew that, in those final moments he was surrounded by those who love him so dearly.
But it still hurts. It hurts to know that his strong determination and (let's be honest) stubbornness won't be there the next time we get together. It hurts to know that someone we care about so much is gone.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Meeting Pilot Boy
After nearly two years of talking via phone, Skype, text, and FaceTime on our phones, "Pilot Boy" and I finally met last night.
He flew in yesterday evening with a fly out scheduled for this morning. I had afternoon / dinner plans with a friend yesterday so we met up after I was done with my dinner plans giving him time to get settled into his hotel room and changed out of his work uniform.
"Pilot Boy" and I talked, hung out, and had a good-night kiss. It was a normal, well-adjusted first meeting / first date. He was more of a gentleman than I was prepared to give him credit for which impressed me. Of course the fact that he was dog tired and we ended up cutting the date shorter than I would have otherwise wanted is a minor detail however beggars can't be choosers...a first date / meeting is still a first date / meeting. Especially considering what it's taken for us to get to this point of actually meeting in person.
As he was scheduled to fly from Chicago to St. Thomas for work this morning with an immediate return flight back to Chicago this afternoon and an overnight layover, we had tentative plans to meet again this evening for dinner and to hang out. Yes, plans to meet twice in one weekend which had me surprised and impressed. Excited even at the prospect of a second date.
But of course "Pilot Boy" pulled his usual routine of having "something suddenly come up". This time he had an "upset stomach all day" leaving him in a position where all he wanted to do was check into the hotel and relax this evening without seeing me tonight. Certainly I understand and respect not feeling good, especially when you're away from home, where all you want to do is curl up alone and get better. On the flip side, I'm frustrated that he just keeps giving me what, on the one hand, could be genuine glitches to our plans or, on the other hand, could just as equally be a dose of BS crap to get out of seeing me.
I suppose only time tell with where this may lead if it in fact has any potential to lead anywhere past where we're at now. My only hope is that he can "man up" and be honest with what he does or doesn't want in regards to me. While I have a lot to offer, I get that I'm not the ideal woman for every guy and I'm okay with that. But if I didn't meet his expectations after we meet in person, I just wish that he'd be honest instead of feeding me a line before heading out of town. Is that too much to ask?
He flew in yesterday evening with a fly out scheduled for this morning. I had afternoon / dinner plans with a friend yesterday so we met up after I was done with my dinner plans giving him time to get settled into his hotel room and changed out of his work uniform.
"Pilot Boy" and I talked, hung out, and had a good-night kiss. It was a normal, well-adjusted first meeting / first date. He was more of a gentleman than I was prepared to give him credit for which impressed me. Of course the fact that he was dog tired and we ended up cutting the date shorter than I would have otherwise wanted is a minor detail however beggars can't be choosers...a first date / meeting is still a first date / meeting. Especially considering what it's taken for us to get to this point of actually meeting in person.
As he was scheduled to fly from Chicago to St. Thomas for work this morning with an immediate return flight back to Chicago this afternoon and an overnight layover, we had tentative plans to meet again this evening for dinner and to hang out. Yes, plans to meet twice in one weekend which had me surprised and impressed. Excited even at the prospect of a second date.
But of course "Pilot Boy" pulled his usual routine of having "something suddenly come up". This time he had an "upset stomach all day" leaving him in a position where all he wanted to do was check into the hotel and relax this evening without seeing me tonight. Certainly I understand and respect not feeling good, especially when you're away from home, where all you want to do is curl up alone and get better. On the flip side, I'm frustrated that he just keeps giving me what, on the one hand, could be genuine glitches to our plans or, on the other hand, could just as equally be a dose of BS crap to get out of seeing me.
I suppose only time tell with where this may lead if it in fact has any potential to lead anywhere past where we're at now. My only hope is that he can "man up" and be honest with what he does or doesn't want in regards to me. While I have a lot to offer, I get that I'm not the ideal woman for every guy and I'm okay with that. But if I didn't meet his expectations after we meet in person, I just wish that he'd be honest instead of feeding me a line before heading out of town. Is that too much to ask?
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