Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Holiday Weekend Houseguest (Part Two: Having a Guy Around)
Having a guy (or at least this particular guy) around for the weekend took a short time to get used to as I'm used to living alone. But, after the initial quirk of moving around a two bedroom condo with a tall guy also in residence was...comfortable, relaxing, normal and almost too easy.
We've been friends for several years but not such close friends that we're out of things to talk about. We were comfortable enough that any silences were just that, occasional silences, with nothing awkward about them. We could do our own thing (both at home and out with respective friends) as well as be together.
When I got home in the early afternoon Friday afternoon from work, he was there to ask how my day was. When we decided to go to a late lunch that afternoon followed by a quick errand, it was so normal. When we sat on the couch after getting home in the evenings, we could veg-out, check out our respective mobile devises and play a game on his iPad while sitting side-by-side on the couch relaxed and at ease.
When he got back home Sunday evening he even texted me to thank me for a great weekend which prompted a quick conversation. That was followed by a conversation this evening following up on a conversation we had over the weekend.
It was exactly what I've thought having a guy around the house should be even if he is "just a friend". Of course I would like him to be more that just a friend but knowing his "type" I know that I'm not likely to stand a chance with him. The fact that he's, on more than one occasion, asked me to set him up with my friends and expressed interest in other women I know that he views me as just a friend.
And normally I'd be okay with that but I'm at a point where I want to be viewed as the dating type in addition to being the friend type. I want the comfortable feeling of being with someone where things just feel comfortable and right.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Holiday Weekend Houseguest (Part One: The Basics)
A friend of mine texted this past Wednesday afternoon asking if he could crash at my place for the 4th of July (Thursday) so he could come up and spend time with our friends over the holiday. He's in the process of moving back up to the greater Chicago area after living in St. Louis for work and is sub-leasing an apartment in between these two cities in the interim. Since he won't be in his current location for long he hasn't set down roots or made too much of a connection there. As such it makes more sense for him to stay with a friend up here when he wants to come out with us instead of doing a six hour round trip drive for any plans in Chicago.
When he comes up he usually stays with one or the other of two of our mutual friends. The friend he stays with most often is his ex-girlfriend and friend of mine who did the dumping in their relationship and with whom he has a lingering friendship with. Said ex-girlfriend though had a couple dates this weekend so she wasn't too keen on having her ex-boyfirend around for the weekend...hence the text to me.
Given that I have a two bedroom condo with room to spare I was happy to welcome him. I said yes with the understanding that I had tentative plans with a non-mutual friend the afternoon of the 4th of July but that I might be up for the fireworks with our mutual friends that evening. In addition I had to work on the morning of Friday the 5th, both of which he was okay with.
So he came mid-day on Thursday, July 4th. He even asked if he could join me at the afternoon plans I had with my childhood friend and her family. Of course that made for quite a topic of discussion amongst my friend, her siblings and her husband as I don't usually bring a "plus one" to events with their family even if said guest is just a friend. On the plus side, it gave me an out to leave this barbecue to join my mutual friends with my houseguest for fireworks elsewhere.
As we drove to meet up for the fireworks with our mutual friends we joked about the rumors that we potentially would be starting by showing up together. This was only compounded by the fact that the friend he usually stays with was insistent in finding out who he was staying with this weekend. We both agreed that, while we have nothing to hide nor anything to explain, we didn't want to make an issue of the fact that he was staying with me. We figured that less can be more and that sometimes it's better to not make an issue of a situation instead of fueling the fire of potential gossip. Especially with certain members of our group of friends who like to blow things out of proportion.
After meeting up with our friends for the fireworks we had a great time and our arriving at the same time was a non-issue. One person figured out that he was probably staying with me but didn't seem to care. That became good on Friday when he decided to extend his visit for another night to join this friend for an outdoor festival / concert which I joined them for that resulted in another night at my place for my houseguest.
Awaking on Saturday, July 6th, I had to head into work for the day and then had a family barbecue in the afternoon / evening. Certainly my houseguest was welcome to join me later on but I figured he might not want to spend the Saturday evening of a holiday weekend with my family instead of our friends. Thankfully he had a couple of options for plans up here in Chicago as well as the option to head back home. To that end I wasn't quite sure if I'd be coming home to company Saturday night or have my place to myself which made for a fun turning of the corner when I got to my sub-division to see his car on the street next to my driveway.
All went well for night three of his visit but made for fun this morning for day four of his visit. I was supposed to head up to spend time on the boat of two more of our mutual friends today on Lake Michigan. Not a big deal as my guest did need to head back home after four days "up north". But it was quite fun when our friend called early this morning to mention that she and her husband needed to take a raincheck on a day out on the lake and asked what I was up to. I just had to smile at my houseguest as I answered that I was relaxing on my couch without mentioning the cute guy at my side.
When he comes up he usually stays with one or the other of two of our mutual friends. The friend he stays with most often is his ex-girlfriend and friend of mine who did the dumping in their relationship and with whom he has a lingering friendship with. Said ex-girlfriend though had a couple dates this weekend so she wasn't too keen on having her ex-boyfirend around for the weekend...hence the text to me.
Given that I have a two bedroom condo with room to spare I was happy to welcome him. I said yes with the understanding that I had tentative plans with a non-mutual friend the afternoon of the 4th of July but that I might be up for the fireworks with our mutual friends that evening. In addition I had to work on the morning of Friday the 5th, both of which he was okay with.
So he came mid-day on Thursday, July 4th. He even asked if he could join me at the afternoon plans I had with my childhood friend and her family. Of course that made for quite a topic of discussion amongst my friend, her siblings and her husband as I don't usually bring a "plus one" to events with their family even if said guest is just a friend. On the plus side, it gave me an out to leave this barbecue to join my mutual friends with my houseguest for fireworks elsewhere.
As we drove to meet up for the fireworks with our mutual friends we joked about the rumors that we potentially would be starting by showing up together. This was only compounded by the fact that the friend he usually stays with was insistent in finding out who he was staying with this weekend. We both agreed that, while we have nothing to hide nor anything to explain, we didn't want to make an issue of the fact that he was staying with me. We figured that less can be more and that sometimes it's better to not make an issue of a situation instead of fueling the fire of potential gossip. Especially with certain members of our group of friends who like to blow things out of proportion.
After meeting up with our friends for the fireworks we had a great time and our arriving at the same time was a non-issue. One person figured out that he was probably staying with me but didn't seem to care. That became good on Friday when he decided to extend his visit for another night to join this friend for an outdoor festival / concert which I joined them for that resulted in another night at my place for my houseguest.
Awaking on Saturday, July 6th, I had to head into work for the day and then had a family barbecue in the afternoon / evening. Certainly my houseguest was welcome to join me later on but I figured he might not want to spend the Saturday evening of a holiday weekend with my family instead of our friends. Thankfully he had a couple of options for plans up here in Chicago as well as the option to head back home. To that end I wasn't quite sure if I'd be coming home to company Saturday night or have my place to myself which made for a fun turning of the corner when I got to my sub-division to see his car on the street next to my driveway.
All went well for night three of his visit but made for fun this morning for day four of his visit. I was supposed to head up to spend time on the boat of two more of our mutual friends today on Lake Michigan. Not a big deal as my guest did need to head back home after four days "up north". But it was quite fun when our friend called early this morning to mention that she and her husband needed to take a raincheck on a day out on the lake and asked what I was up to. I just had to smile at my houseguest as I answered that I was relaxing on my couch without mentioning the cute guy at my side.
4th of July in the Country
Yesterday, I got to relive my childhood. Growing up,
either the weekend before or after the 4th of July was spent at my paternal
grandparents farm in north central Illinois with my large extended family and
plenty of fireworks driven in from a neighboring state by one of my uncles.
This year had me at my great-aunt Irene's home (my grandpa's sister) Saturday
evening with my extended cousins for a barbecue and fireworks.
Gotta love the country life!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
At A Loss
I was headed out to a lunch meeting today for some volunteer work that I do when I got the call. The call that I've been dreading for a while now. The call letting me know that someone I care about very much had taken that final turn for the worse and that I needed to make it to the hospital sooner rather than later to say my good-byes before the life support was turned off.
So I went. I was able to turn the lunch meeting into a coffee meeting. I was able to hurry back to the office to coordinate coverage for my work this afternoon. I was able to make it to the hospital with time to say goodbye to someone I've cared about for so many years. I was able to support my dear friend (the daughter of the patient in the ICU who was about to lose his long battle) whose father was, in many ways, like a second father to me.
It was a bit of a hurry up and wait. We hurried to come together...his wife, children, and two of us who have known the family for so long that we're like "bonus kids" and then we waited. We hurried to get through prayers with a leader from the church and then we waited. We waited and waited as the various steps to increase the pain medication were gone through that ultimately resulted with the turning off the life support. And then we waited some more. For you see, the man in the bed in the ICU knew he was surrounded by loved ones who so very much cared about him and he wasn't quite ready to go yet.
And then, with a final breath, with all of us surrounding him, he passed away. His daughter, my dear friend, quietly cried and leaned onto me for support. The other "bonus child" in the room leaned on my other side for support. And we all cried. We all stood at a loss for this man who we had loved so much and who had, in his own way, loved us in return.
Certainly we know that he's in a better place and out of pain. Of course we know that, at some level, he knew that, in those final moments he was surrounded by those who love him so dearly.
But it still hurts. It hurts to know that his strong determination and (let's be honest) stubbornness won't be there the next time we get together. It hurts to know that someone we care about so much is gone.
So I went. I was able to turn the lunch meeting into a coffee meeting. I was able to hurry back to the office to coordinate coverage for my work this afternoon. I was able to make it to the hospital with time to say goodbye to someone I've cared about for so many years. I was able to support my dear friend (the daughter of the patient in the ICU who was about to lose his long battle) whose father was, in many ways, like a second father to me.
It was a bit of a hurry up and wait. We hurried to come together...his wife, children, and two of us who have known the family for so long that we're like "bonus kids" and then we waited. We hurried to get through prayers with a leader from the church and then we waited. We waited and waited as the various steps to increase the pain medication were gone through that ultimately resulted with the turning off the life support. And then we waited some more. For you see, the man in the bed in the ICU knew he was surrounded by loved ones who so very much cared about him and he wasn't quite ready to go yet.
And then, with a final breath, with all of us surrounding him, he passed away. His daughter, my dear friend, quietly cried and leaned onto me for support. The other "bonus child" in the room leaned on my other side for support. And we all cried. We all stood at a loss for this man who we had loved so much and who had, in his own way, loved us in return.
Certainly we know that he's in a better place and out of pain. Of course we know that, at some level, he knew that, in those final moments he was surrounded by those who love him so dearly.
But it still hurts. It hurts to know that his strong determination and (let's be honest) stubbornness won't be there the next time we get together. It hurts to know that someone we care about so much is gone.
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