Just one of the guys or more?

A few months ago I blogged about being "Just One of the Guys".  About being the poker playing, sports watching, occasional beer drinking girl who my guy friends turn to as the voice of reason when they need female advise.  About how they view me as just one of the guys and not a woman who they would date.

Just before Memorial Day one of those guy friends asked me out.  On a real date.  With just the two of us.  Since then we've had a couple of solo dates along with time spent alone before / after plans with our larger group of friends.  We enjoy each other's company even if he does slightly struggle conversation wise.  But still...a guy whose actually interested in spending time with me is a good thing, right?

Sadly he's quickly failing.  As mentioned, he's not the most conversational.  And the couple of times our "status" has casually and quite naturally come up in conversation he won't commit to anything and acts vague on what he wants or doesn't want.  And he hasn't made a single move.  At all.  He treats me the same as he did before asking me out...as a platonic friend who he happens to see one-on-one.

In a move totally out of junior / senior high school, one of my friends pulled him aside yesterday and point blank asked him what was going on between us.  His response was to say that we're dating.  Somehow I missed that memo and, thankfully, my friend asked him if he and I really are dating to which he then didn't seem as sure.  Um, either we are or we aren't but maybe he should actually take the initiative and let me know what he feels is going on.

Oh...and making a move to show his interest wouldn't be such a bad thing either.

Rejection Re-directed

As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.

Just One of the Guys

As a female who is seen as "one of the guys" I'm the one who hangs out with her guy friends at a bar for Monday Night Football to have a burger and beer and actually watch the game.  I'm the one who knows just enough about sports in general to be recruited for trivia to fill the sports gap when the guys can't make it.  And I'm the one my guy friends turn to when they want suggestions of who I might be able to set them up with.

Not that they want to go out with ME...instead they want me to recommend any one of my single girl friends who they can go out with.  In fact, this happened just last night.  One of my guy friends decided that, six months post-breakup with his most recent girlfriend, he's ready to start dating again which is a good thing.  Then he turned to me and wondered if I know of any single women who he could ask out.  Never mind that I'm a single woman myself who he knows quite well but instead he wanted to know about who I know whose single and female.  The sad part is that he's not the first of my guy friends to do this and, most likely, won't be the last.

But it's still bothersome that none of the guys I know even remotely view me as a woman they could consider dating.  I'm not saying fall madly in love with me or marry me tomorrow...simply go out on a date with me.  And, while my girl friends say they know of guys they could consider setting me up with, that has yet to actually happen despite all their talk.

Yes, I know that in today's "modern" world I could ask a guy out.  Call me old fashioned, or very shy as is more accurately the case, but I prefer a guy to make the first move.  It doesn't have to be a big, bold move but expressing any interest whatsoever would be a major success in my book.  Is that really too much to ask?

Romance and Fireworks

Romance isn't everything.  But it's something.

To be desired.
To be someone's most important.
To be someone's priority.
To be someone's favorite.

I want to be.
And a few fireworks would sparkle my world.

But it's only...

One of my current frustrations surrounds what I refer to as the "it's only" habit that an organization I volunteer with has a habit of falling into all too often.  As in, "it'll only take an extra few minutes" that drags a meeting on for another hour.  Or, "it's only $X per person" when each individual person in the group didn't have a say in the cost in the first place and may not have budgeted for said expense.

Many of the women I volunteer with in this organization are in professions that traditionally make good salaries or otherwise are a part of a duel income household where the combined income is at a good rate.  These same women forget that some of us live on just our income.  An income in middle-management at a non-profit that is anything but "good".  An income that pays for the necessities and a few of the "luxuries" but that isn't as expendable as others.

While I'm fortunate to have some savings and am by no means destitute, at the same time, I do have to be mindful of what I spend.  Especially since I just bought a new house with the costs that come with moving and setting up a new home.  A home that went from a condo to a single family house.  And, it is afterall the Christmas season and I'm buying gifts for my family which is where my current extra money is going.

But how do you tell those who are better off that coming up with that extra time and money just isn't always possible?  How do we remind them that what may be "only" an extra hour or an extra $25 to them may mean cutting out some of the basics for us?

I guess sometimes going along with what we aren't comfortable doing is really the "only" option available to us.

Holiday Weekend Houseguest (Part Two: Having a Guy Around)

Having a guy (or at least this particular guy) around for the weekend took a short time to get used to as I'm used to living alone.  But, after the initial quirk of moving around a two bedroom condo with a tall guy also in residence was...comfortable, relaxing, normal and almost too easy.

We've been friends for several years but not such close friends that we're out of things to talk about.  We were comfortable enough that any silences were just that, occasional silences, with nothing awkward about them.  We could do our own thing (both at home and out with respective friends) as well as be together.

When I got home in the early afternoon Friday afternoon from work, he was there to ask how my day was.  When we decided to go to a late lunch that afternoon followed by a quick errand, it was so normal.  When we sat on the couch after getting home in the evenings, we could veg-out, check out our  respective mobile devises and play a game on his iPad while sitting side-by-side on the couch relaxed and at ease.

When he got back home Sunday evening he even texted me to thank me for a great weekend which prompted a quick conversation.  That was followed by a conversation this evening following up on a conversation we had over the weekend.

It was exactly what I've thought having a guy around the house should be even if he is "just a friend".  Of course I would like him to be more that just a friend but knowing his "type" I know that I'm not likely to stand a chance with him.  The fact that he's, on more than one occasion, asked me to set him up with my friends and expressed interest in other women I know that he views me as just a friend.

And normally I'd be okay with that but I'm at a point where I want to be viewed as the dating type in addition to being the friend type.  I want the comfortable feeling of being with someone where things just feel comfortable and right.

Meeting Pilot Boy

After nearly two years of talking via phone, Skype, text, and FaceTime on our phones, "Pilot Boy" and I finally met last night.

He flew in yesterday evening with a fly out scheduled for this morning.  I had afternoon / dinner plans with a friend yesterday so we met up after I was done with my dinner plans giving him time to get settled into his hotel room and changed out of his work uniform.

"Pilot Boy" and I talked, hung out, and had a good-night kiss.  It was a normal, well-adjusted first meeting / first date.  He was more of a gentleman than I was prepared to give him credit for which impressed me.  Of course the fact that he was dog tired and we ended up cutting the date shorter than I would have otherwise wanted is a minor detail however beggars can't be choosers...a first date / meeting is still a first date / meeting.  Especially considering what it's taken for us to get to this point of actually meeting in person.

As he was scheduled to fly from Chicago to St. Thomas for work this morning with an immediate return flight back to Chicago this afternoon and an overnight layover, we had tentative plans to meet again this evening for dinner and to hang out.  Yes, plans to meet twice in one weekend which had me surprised and impressed.  Excited even at the prospect of a second date.

But of course "Pilot Boy" pulled his usual routine of having "something suddenly come up".  This time he had an "upset stomach all day" leaving him in a position where all he wanted to do was check into the hotel and relax this evening without seeing me tonight.  Certainly I understand and respect not feeling good, especially when you're away from home, where all you want to do is curl up alone and get better.  On the flip side, I'm frustrated that he just keeps giving me what, on the one hand, could be genuine glitches to our plans or, on the other hand, could just as equally be a dose of BS crap to get out of seeing me.

I suppose only time tell with where this may lead if it in fact has any potential to lead anywhere past where we're at now.  My only hope is that he can "man up" and be honest with what he does or doesn't want in regards to me.  While I have a lot to offer, I get that I'm not the ideal woman for every guy and I'm okay with that.  But if I didn't meet his expectations after we meet in person, I just wish that he'd be honest instead of feeding me a line before heading out of town.  Is that too much to ask?

Direction-less

A friend of mine recently posted this on Facebook and it made me chuckle....

I believe there is a person out there for every one of us, mine just got lost and does not want to ask for directions.

Childless Mother's Day

Mother's Day....the one Sunday a year set aside for mothers in our lives.  Whether they're our moms, grandmothers, step-mothers, or "mom figures" we set aside this day to celebrate them.  While my own mother and I don't have a close relationship I support this holiday and celebrate her and all of those amazing women in my life who have acted as mother figures filling the gap between me and my own mom.

That being said, as a 35 year old woman who hasn't been fortunate enough yet to get married or have children (and who very much wants to be married and is starting to seriously question possibly wanting children) today is a tough day for me.  (Is this that mysterious biological clock I've heard about?!?!)

In the days leading up to today, many well intentioned people have wished me a happy mother's day.  From the checker at the grocery store to the woman at the front desk at my doctor's office, people look at women of a certain age and assume that we're mothers.  And they, for all the right reasons and with nothing but the best of intentions, wish us a happy mother's day despite the fact that I, and many people like me, don't have children.  Some are childless by choice and some not as much by choice but instead by circumstance.

On the outside I smile and say thank you.  I recognize the well intent being offered and take it as such.  But on the inside, I cringe and fight back a well of emotion.  I struggle to not let my disappointment at being single, never married and childless at my age not get to me.  I force myself to remember that being single and childless has it's advantages too.  But it's a tough, emotional struggle.

I'm very lucky to have many children in my life from my niece and nephew to my best friend's three children who call me aunt to my godson and his sister.  All of these children are a blessing to my life but they're not "my children".  And that leaves me sad and feeling alone on a day like today that celebrates motherhood.

During church this morning my pastor seemed to "get it".  His sermon did focus on this being mother's day but, at the end of the service, he asked all of the women in the congregation to stand up.  At that time, he recognized all of us for whatever role we fulfill in the lives of the children around us.  We may "just" be the aunt, teacher, godmother, or friend, but we all serve some type of "mom role" at some point and in some way.

My Dating Life Is An Epic Fail

I'm convinced that my dating life is an epic fail.  Or at least trying to set up a date with "pilot boy" is an epic fail.  

We had plans to meet in person last week.  First it was plans for a week ago Saturday during a longer lay-over that he had scheduled at O'Hare.  But, as luck would have it, due to flight delays the night before, he and crew were grounded from working the Miami to Chicago flight on Saturday due to having gone over their allowed flight hours in the preceding twenty-four hours.  They were then deadheaded to Chicago on a slightly later flight so that they could work the Chicago to New York flight but it was a late enough flight up to Chicago as to eliminate a chance for us to meet.

We then made plans to meet on Wednesday.  He was scheduled to be done with his flight schedule either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning which would allow him to fly on a pass to Chicago before heading down to his home in Florida for a few days off.  Hello, a man willing to fly from New York to Tampa by way of Chicago for dinner with me...he was prepared to earn major brownie points for that effort.  Even if he can fly for free on a pass since he flies with a major airline carrier, Chicago isn't exactly on the way from New York to Tampa.  But, of course, Sunday morning his schedule changed and he had to pick up a shift that wouldn't allow him to meet up with me this past Wednesday.

That then lead us to make plans for tomorrow.  I happen to be taking a comp day from work tomorrow since I have several comp days to burn and having this previously scheduled day off work would enable me to meet up with him whenever he'd be able to get in town.  His work schedule this week is such that he'd be flying in just to spend time with me so there wouldn't be any work related complications / delays.

Which leads us to this afternoon when I sent him the following text to confirm the plans we had for tomorrow:  "So, given our track record of things not working out at the last minute, I'm hesitant to ask this but...are we on for actually meeting tomorrow?"  And his response..."Oh shit - I totally rearranged things!  I meant to text you just lot going on!  Plus I have a little cold.  :( sorry"

Really?!?!  He rearranged things already and was "meaning to text me"?!?!?!

I responded that I had a hunch that something may have come up as that always seems to be the case. He came back that he has a hunch that we'll eventually meet and that it's "inevitable" that we do.  Inevitable...really?!?!  That's the best you can come up with?!?!

I came back with "The ball is in your court...I am game, we just have to make it happen with the craziness that always seems to pop up in your neck of the woods."  Basically trying to say to him that I'm onto his game of always having to cancel for crap reasons and that, while I'm interested, he needs to make some effort.  Needless to say I haven't gotten a response back to that text yet!

  I mean really, I realize that things come up, sometimes at the last minute, but is it too much for me to ask that he have a bit of respect to proactively be in touch when things change and not wait for me to call him out?  Was he going to wait until tomorrow morning to let me know that things had suddenly changed?

It's craziness I tell you!

Pilot Boy Is Starting to Man Up!

So I've written about a guy that I've referred to as "pilot boy".

This is a guy who has sent up quite a few red flags.  A guy who, when we initially met via an on-line website, lead me to believe that he's a pilot when he's in fact a flight attendant.   A guy who has, on more than one occasion, made plans to spend time with me in Chicago on one of his lay-overs but then cancelled said plans.  A guy who I noticed had a couple pictures on the profile of his Facebook page with a woman he was especially cozied up to who he finally admitted that he had been in a "long term" relationship with but with whom he has recently broken up with.  A guy that, in the time we've known each other (i.e. been talking via phone, text, Skype and FaceTime), I should have run far and wide from.

But we actually had a good forty-five minute conversation tonight.  He actually manned up and, when I asked a few fairly pointed questions in the interest in knowing the "real him", he answered honestly confirming what I had already surmised / picked up from bits and pieces of various conversations we've had previously that had hinted at some things.  I actually feel like I learned a few things about him and that he may be on the way to manning up and sharing his real self!  I still have my reservations and don't want to fully trust him but I think he's finally on the right track!

It's craziness I tell you!

A Work Crush

The museum I work at was open yesterday for Martin Luther King, Jr Day however the staff offices were closed in honor of the holiday.  When the offices are closed, we have one or two staff members work as the "Manager On Duty" and yesterday I had volunteered to be that person.  It was a great day to get caught up on a lot of those little things that normally get pushed to the back burner as well as to connect with museum volunteers and the security department without the usual interruptions that pop up during a normal day.

At the end of the day I was chatting with one of the security officers who looped me in that another member of the security team is interested in me.  As in, seriously interested in me.  As in, has commented about said interest to his fellow members of the security team.  Yet out of respect for this co-worker of ours, the security officer I was talking to didn't mention which security officer exactly this is.

The museum I work at, like many museums, has security cameras all over the building that the security team monitors throughout the day.  Said security officer with an interest in me has noticed where I'm at throughout the day.  Apparently once, a time that I don't even remember, I had a blonde moment and tripped a bit over my own two feet.  I was totally fine yet this security officer was ready to jump up to come help me.

I am flattered.  I am intrigued.  I want to know who he is.  Yet I'm also nervous.  Who is he?  Is he someone I'm interested in?  I'll admit to having an interest in one guy in particular but I'm not confident enough that he's the one with an interest in me.

What if he's not someone I'm interested in?  What if we go out a few times and it doesn't work out?  What if everyone in the office knows about it and it becomes a big topic of discussion among the rest of the staff?

There's so much potential but also so many what-ifs!

Pilot Boy

I've previously mentioned the guy I refer to as "pilot boy".  The one who has raised so many flags that I should be running (quickly) away from him.

We had tentative plans to finally meet in person this past Monday.  He was scheduled for training in Chicago and we'd be able to meet after he was done with training and after I got off work.  We'd catch up over Chicago-style pizza and enjoy getting to talk in-person.  And then he texted me at lunch time to let me know that he had gotten things mixed up and was actually flying from New York City to the west coast and not in fact in training in Chicago.  He had "gotten the dates mixed up" and had just realized the night before that he'd be flying instead of in training.

Yet another red flag on why this guy is just bad news.  Add that to the fact that I did a bit of a searching recently and discovered that he's not in fact a pilot but is instead a flight attendant.  Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for flight attendants, but a flight attendant is a bit different from the pilot that he made himself out to be.

He may be a fly boy but he needs to straighten up and fly right!

Feeling Morose

Today I'm feeling morose, sullen, a bit ill-tempered and really just plain grumpy.


I know I have much to be thankful for...a roof over my head, food on my table, fairly good health, friends, family and a bit of savings in the bank.  And I am thankful for all of the positives in my life.  That being said I'm in a bit of a moopy, ungrateful mood today.


The youth pastor at the church I attend has been battling an aggressive form of cancer for the past couple of years.  He's been actively battling this disease with every medical option available to him with the love and support of his wife and two middle-school aged daughters.  Despite his best efforts (and those of his medical team) as well as his devotion to wherever God will take him, I just found out that he's taken a turn for the worse and is now under hospice care.  I feel so bad as he's one of the "good guys" who will be sorely missed.  His wife and young daughters will be left with holes in their hearts where he once was.  They've all been brave fighters during this whole ordeal yet they'll all suffer physically, mentally, and emotionally.  To quote any little kid, it's just "not fair".


Then there's my continued job search.  I'm getting leads, applying for jobs, going on interviews, writing handwritten thank you letters, and doing anything and everything possible to find a new job.  Yet despite being open to any job that might come my way and only needing one actual job offer, a new position remains elusive.  I completely and totally dislike not working.  I'm getting sick of the sympathetic looks and questions from friends and family.  They mean well but it's frustrating and embarrassing to have to continue to say that, yes I'm trying everything I can but no I don't have a new job yet.  And really, hello, once I do get a new job, I'll be the first to let everyone and anyone know so it's not like I'm withholding any information from anyone on a new job.


Then there's my dating life or lack thereof.  This past weekend, a well meaning friend set me up with a friend of hers for her wedding.  He and I went, sat together at the reception, and had a great time yet zero, zip, zilch.  He didn't make a move, didn't ask for a phone number and or otherwise make it seem like he was going to make a move or ask for my phone number in the future.  I know I'm not the perfect match for every guy however this seems to be the story of my life.


Guys seem to think that I'm funny, easy to get along with, fun to hang out with, and someone they enjoying spending time with.  But that's the extent that they're willing to take things.  I'm no more than just "one of the guys" for all intensive purposes.  And it just plain stinks.  I want to be seen as more than just one of the guys.  It really only will take one guy who sees me as important, special, pretty, etc.  I'm not asking any guy to meet me today and then walk me down the aisle tomorrow, dating at this point is fine.  I just would like to be considered as girlfriend material by just one guy who thinks I'm worth it.


So yes, I am officially moopy and miserable today but I'm not going to apologize as sometimes you just need to be in a bit of a funk before you can move forward.

The age of the matter

To get to the heart of the matter is, in my opinion, also to get to the age of the matter.

Earlier today my mom, aunt, and grandma were asking if I've ever tried online dating.  One of my aunt's first questions was is regards to what age range I have listed in my profile as far as men I'd be willing to date.  My rule of thumb has always been that I prefer guys who are at least my age and not younger but that I have no upper age limit.  My thought being that I'd hate to cut off at say age 45 in case a great guy who happens to be 46 might be right around the corner.

My aunt thought I was a little loopy and that I should be going for younger guys instead.  At 34 I'm hesitant to go for younger guys mainly because most of my friends are between five and ten plus years older than I am so one fear I have is that a younger guy might not be able to relate with my friends who are that much older than he is.

Should age really make a difference?  And if it shouldn't matter, are there guys in their late 20s and early 30s interested in a woman in her mid-30s who has friends in their late 30s to mid-40s?

Man-up already!

In my last post I mentioned that there are a couple of guys who have had potential dating wise.  Most recently there have actually be three.

First there's the pilot who is great looking and fun to talk to.  We met online and have thus far only talked with, in theory at least, plans to meet in person one of these days.  This is the guy who swore that he has lay-overs in Chicago on a regular basis so we'd get to spend some time together face to face but who (of course) hasn't had a single one that wasn't a quick touch-down and take-off since we've gotten to talking on a semi-regular basis.  I mean, heck I live close enough to O'Hare that picking him up for a quick coffee at the Starbucks a few blocks from O'Hare before taking him back to the airport ahead of his next flight out would be easy enough!  This is the guy who I've recently found out gave me his middle name instead of his first name and a shortened version of his last name.  Hello...I have his phone number and all it took was a quick Google search with that number to get who the number is registered to!  In a nutshell, this is the guy who is sending up so many red flags that I know I should walk, no run, away fast!

Then there's the guy I was supposed to get together with the weekend of the 20th.  Due to his allergies acting up he had to cancel.  As someone else with allergies, I certainly understand and respect that.  We were in touch all last week and then were supposed to get together this past Saturday for first date round two.  I was totally flexible on where we could meet and what we might do but, yep, you guessed it, I didn't hear from him at all with firm plans.  Really?!?!  Fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice and shame on me.  Needless to say this guy won't be getting a third chance at a first date since this weekend he didn't even have the courtesy of giving me an excuse on why he was blowing me off.

And then there's the last guy.  This is the guy who I went out with a couple of times at the beginning of the year.  The guy who seemed very interested and was making an effort.  The guy who then just dropped off the face of the earth.  He then decided to reappear in late June claiming that life had gotten hectic (which I all of all people completely understand) but he went on to say that July was going to be so much calmer from his end and that he was looking forward to making plans with me during July.  And I can count on ZERO hands how may times I've heard from him since.  Apparently July was so much calmer that he found many other things to occupy his time with!

If you decide that you're just not that into me that's fine but man-up and just say so.  As long as it's said politely then I can put on my big-girl panties and take it like a woman.  Really...I can.

I applaud the couple of men who have had the guts to be straight-forward and honest with me that, while it was a nice dinner / coffee / lunch / drinks / whatever, it just isn't going to go anywhere else.  In one case, I was thinking the exact same thing and in the other, while I would have liked to take things to a second date, I appreciated knowing from him where he stood then being left to presume.  And I can assure you that my presumptions would have also included some less than stellar descriptions of him as well for leaving me to presume.

Are you seeing anyone?

I know this is a common question that people ask as they're getting to know you or if they haven't seen you in a while.  It's a question that I've been guilty of asking myself on more than one occasion however lately this question has started to annoy me.  It really shouldn't annoy me as it is a logical conversation topic but it does.

Having to always respond that no, I'm not currently dating anyone or that there's nobody serious in my life dating wise or having to go into the adventures of mis-haps as I try the online dating world have left me dreading the inevitable turn towards this particular conversation.

I'd love to be able to say that yes, there's this amazing guy in my life who is sweeping me off my feet in his own special way.  I'm not asking for Mr. Perfect or Prince Charming...simply a nice, normal guy who doesn't blow me off when we make plans, who isn't out for "only one thing" at some random hour of the (very late) night or who doesn't call back once we've made plans or had a first date.

With all the rumors of "nice guys finishing last" I would think that there are a number of nice normal guys out there who might like to be chosen first!  Is that really so much to ask?

If what my friends have to say is accurate, I'm a nice, normal, self-sufficient, fun woman to spend time with.  I've traveled the world, have a great group of friends, and don't presume that I'd be the only thing in said guy's life.  As an independent woman in my own right, I wouldn't expect the guy to have to make me the only thing in his life and would anticipate that we be able to spend time together as well as apart while still being a couple.

So am I seeing someone?  Nope...there have been a couple of guys lately with potential but that's another post for another time.

Home

Home is....

• ...where the heart is.
• ...not where you live, but where they understand you.
• ...a place you grow up wanting to leave, and where you grow old wanting to get back to.
• ...sweet home Chicago.

• ...lonely when you are a single person who goes home to an empty home every night.
• ...a lot of work to maintain when you own it on your own.
• ...where I thought I'd be living with a husband by the age I am now.
• ...still only a condo instead of the house I hoped I'd have by my age.

Group Conversation Dynamics

It's always entertaining for me when I meet a new couple in a group setting.  In many cases the men gravitate towards one conversation while the women cluster together for a different conversation.

As a single woman the expectation is that I'll chat with the women in a group setting.  Often times that's a fun thing to do.  But there are other times when I'm surrounded by a group full of women who are all married and / or mothers.  In those cases, at some point the conversation often turns to married life and the various antics of their children / husband.  In some cases it's both their children AND husbands with the same antics!  Since these are topics I have nothing in common with I often "space out" rather quickly on these conversations, especially when they drag on and on.  No offense to the mothers I know but the reality is that I couldn't care less about your children's potty training habits.  :)

Many times, once these assorted potty training and other such related stories have gone on for a while, I'll eventually gravitate towards the men's conversation that is often about sports and work related topics that I can actually relate to.  When this happens it's almost inevitable that the woman of the aforementioned couple I've just met will start shooting daggers in my direction with her eyes.

There's something about a single woman in a group that sparks a defensive manner around many married women.  In my experience, married women who meet a single women for the first time automatically assume that, at some point, we're looking to "steal their man".  And inevitably one of the first women to get defensive is the woman whose husband I wouldn't be attracted to in a million years even if he was single and eligible for me to go after!

Ladies...please don't get offended if the single women you know would rather talk with the men instead of the women.  Most of the time it has nothing to do with the actual men in the group and is instead due to the topics of conversation at hand.  Instead of getting upset with the lone single woman standing talking sports or work with the guys, consider having a conversation with her about something other than your husband's quirky habits or your children's adorable talent show!

Can men and women be "just friends"?

In the movie When Harry Met Sally, there is an entire conversation between Harry and Sally about how "men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."

While I've thought about this often and wondered if that's true, it really hit home for me this evening.  After spending an amazing Saturday (July 2nd) with a group of friends on Lake Michigan on one of our friend's boat and then grilling out at the marina, the group dwindled down to three couples plus me and one of my guy friends who I've known for upwards of ten years.

This is a guy who I've traveled with a couple of times (both times with a few other people) as well as seen on a regular basis over the course of these years.  Yet we've never dated, expressed interest in each other or done anything that could possibly muddle the territory of pure friendship.  But in my ever single state and as more and more of my friends are settling down I've really started taking a look at my guy friends and wondering why they and I haven't ever tried making a relationship work as more than "just friends".

Is it that I'm not attracted to them?  Are they not attracted to me?  Is it that, by some unspoken agreement, we don't want to risk our friendship by adding an attraction to the mix?  Or, as that aforementioned conversation between Harry and Sally goes on to say, is an attraction already there in one way, shape or form just waiting for us to realize this and act upon it?