27 Dresses in Real Life

For those who haven't seen the movie 27 Dresses starring Katherine Heigl you're missing out on a classic chic flick.  The movie's website (http://www.27dressesthemovie.com/) provides a great synopsis to bring those that haven't seen this movie up to speed:

27 Dresses centers on Jane (Heigl), an idealistic, romantic and completely selfless woman...a perennial bridal attendant whose own happy ending is nowhere in sight.  But when younger sister Tess captures the heart of Jane's boss -- with whom Jane is secretly in love -- Jane begins to reexamine her "always-a-bridesmaid" lifestyle.

The running comment among my friends for a number of years was how art (in this case the movie 27 Dresses) imitated life (in this case my own life).  I, like the character Jane, am the perennial bridal attendant whose own happy ending is nowhere in sight.

Several years ago, I had a three-year period that saw me at twenty-one weddings.  Yes you read that correctly, twenty-one (21!!!!) weddings over three years.  That broke down to eight weddings the first year, six the following, and seven the third year.  And that's not even including the one or two weddings I attended every year in the years prior to / after this specific three year period.  It got to the point that I took on a part-time job (in addition to my full-time one) at a leading kitchen-ware store at the local mall both to help pay for these weddings as well as to get a discount on all of the gifts that I was purchasing for said weddings!

This morning's edition of Chicago's Red Eye newspaper had an article titled "Bridesmaid backlash" on how everything from dresses to gifts to airline tickets adds up.  My initial thought, after all of the aforementioned weddings, was DUH!  I know that the costs incurred by bridesmaids is a mere blip in the grand scheme of the overall wedding budget but, for those of us not front and center in the white dress, those costs may stretch what, for many, is an already tight budget given the current economy.  And the kicker is that most brides I know (with few exceptions) are aware of these costs and try to be mindful of what they're asking of their friends but it still adds up quick.  A few of my truly favorite brides included the following:

• A good friend whose wedding I was maid-of-honor in wins the all-time amazing bride award.  Since she was having her two brothers as her other attendants, she picked out a formal dress I already owned.  Her brothers then got ties that matched my dress that they wore with suits they already owned.  Not only was it a comfortable dress I liked, it also went well with the colors she was considering and was a huge cost-saver for me and her brothers.  YEA!
• When my cousin got married a few years ago, she had three of us as her attendants and just asked that we all wear a black dress.  How perfect...we all got to select a style that we were comfortable in and that flattered each of our (very different) bodies and styles.  Plus a classic black dress is always one that you can (and we all did) wear again.
• Another friend of mine (while a bridezilla in other areas) also did a fabulous job in selecting her dresses which had the potential to be difficult given that the seven of us in her bridal party had such drastically different body types.  Instead of going the traditional one dress for everyone route, she selected a two-piece dress that had the same skirt for everyone and then different style tops for each of us.  She picked out a group of tops that we got to choose from and she was very mindful of who was in her wedding and did a great job of picking out ones with each of us in mind.  We got to feel as if we had a bit of say in what we wore that ensured that we were comfortable and happy with the dress we'd be in all day while still staying within her vision for her big day.

Of course all of these weddings haven't always been the icing on the cake.  Like all big events, many have been fraught with stories that we still talk about.  Who could forget when I broke a couple fingers as a bridesmaid when we got out of the Hummer Limo to take pictures at Wrigley Field?  Or what about the time one of my uncles offered to walk the bride (my cousin) out the church door instead up the aisle since he wasn't a fan of the guy she married?

While I, like Katherine Heigl's character in the movie 27 Dresses, have often evaluated my "always-a-bridesmaid" lifestyle, a part of me wonders if the whole big wedding craziness is worth it?  After-all, it's the end result (i.e. the marriage) that's really what's most important, right?

I've always said that, should I (hopefully) ever get married I'd want to elope or go to the court-house and do something (very) small.  It would save everyone a lot of money and craziness but on the flip side I know that my friends and family would expect a larger wedding with all the trimmings.

That makes me wonder...why do we go to all of the lengths that we go to for the bigger weddings?  Who are we doing these for and why?