Someone to walk next to me....

George and Ira Gershwin's song "Someone to Watch Over Me" was featured in the movie Mr. Holland's Opus which happens to be one of my favorite movies.  A portion of this song's lyrics that I'm especially drawn to include:

There’s a somebody I’m longin’ to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me

While I've taken a bit of liberty in the title for this blog entry I think overall theme is similar.  I'm so very much looking for a guy who'll both watch over me and also walk next to me.

As a friend of mine was leaving a BBQ we were both at Saturday of this weekend we took a few minutes to talk one-on-one.  She too is looking for so many of the same things I'm looking for including better employment, a new home, and that special guy in each of our lives.

We took a moment to recognize that we are very fortunate:

• We both have jobs that, while they may not be our dream jobs (or anything remotely close to our dream jobs), these jobs do pay our bills and enable us each to live a relatively middle-class life.
• We both own our own homes.  While they may not be exactly what we want or where we want it, both of these condos provide us a safe, dry roof over each of our heads which is something that many don't have.
• We have an amazing group of friends as well as families that care about us each in their own unique ways.  When push comes to shove, we both have a safety net that won't let us fall too hard, too fast.

That being said, we reflected on those things that we're both struggling with:

• Finding that dream job or at least something better than what we have currently.  My friend currently works three part-time jobs to make her reality work.  I work for a non-profit with an amazing mission but in a position with no room for growth or development.
• Being able to sell our respective condos so that we can each find the new home that we're looking for.  I'm not sure what her dream home is but mine is a house closer to the city with a great layout for entertaining more.  While there's plenty on the market that fits that description, I can't purchase anything new until I've sold the condo that's been on the market for over two years.  In my mind, I know that taking this long to sell a condo is mearly a sign of the times but it doesn't make it an easier a pill to swallow when all I want to do is sell the condo I bought eight years ago that I never dreamed I'd still be in this long.
• Finding that special guy to spend our lives with.  We're both amazing, strong women who are more than capable on our own.  That being said, neither of us ever imagined getting to the age we're at now as single women.  We'd both love to find those special guys who'll watch over each of us.
• Having families that don't really understand where we're coming from as single women in our mid to late thirties.  They've either written us off as the "spinster aunt" or say something to the effect that it's  "too bad you didn't get married earlier when you had a chance".  Never mind that we may never have actually had "a chance" to get married earlier since, at least in my case, I've never been proposed to before.
• Having familes that compare us to our siblings as well as to the children of their friends who are out doing "amazing things".  While others may be doing said "amazing things" such as getting an advanced degree, getting married, having children, doing X, Y, or Z in the community we're basically told that, despite all that we both do already for ourselves, for others we care about as well as within the community, we're going no-where quickly and that we should do more to be like the aforementioned siblings and / or children of their friends.

My friend and I finished our conversation by reminding ourselves that we're in good company.  We're not alone and in fact are surrounded by many amazing fellow single people both our age and older who are also navigating a single life.  We do have someone to walk next to even if it isn't the prince charming we've dreamed of for so long.

And maybe that friend who walks beside us through both the think and the thin is worth more than the prince who might just ride off into the sunset on his white horse.  I know this in my mind.  Now if only I could get my heart to understand as well.